Being Used vs Usefulness: Round 1 Fight!

“Niggas act like bitches, I don’t understand.” That, my friends, is one of a few things I’ve tried to wrap my head around. Now, at first glance this lyric appears harsh, sexist, and maybe racially motivated. But let’s check our feelings at the door and go for a deep dive. In this context the term “niggas” is being used to describe a particular type of man. Not based off race, ethnicity or socio-economic status. The same is to be said for the term “bitches”. Niggas in this case is being used to describe an insecure, unaware man. One who may think he has people fooled, but in reality the only fool is him. And before the ladies go beast mode, the term bitches describes a woman who, much like her male counterpart, is insecure, judgemental, and fails to acknowledge her flaws but is quick to call out everyone else’s. These niggas and bitches really ain’t shit.

We work with them, reside in the same neighbourhoods. Hell, we may be in relationships with some of these folks. Point is, these lowly men and women are people that we have to learn to interact and deal with, because unfortunately, they keep showing up by the boat load. Please, before you get all uptight and wound up, allow me to re-introduce myself. P.s. if you didn’t say that last bit in Jay-Z’s voice, we can’t be friends. But I digress. I believe myself to be a rather conscientious person. Caring, helpful. You know all those traits you include on a job resume to attract future employers? That’s me. With all that being said, I have a bit of a reputation (minds out of the gutter please) of being a bit too nice and considerate. What’s too nice you ask? Helping those who need it, without expecting anything in return, but also helping people who don’t necessarily deserve it, with the same expectation, or lack thereof.

There’s a fine line between being useful and simply being used. In both cases, there’s a beneficiary that isn’t always you, but the difference lies in the intent. Intent is everything, trust me. It’s important to be able to distinguish between the two. Take a hose. It’s sole purpose is to carry a supply of water from one place to another. It’s designed and manufactured to be able to fulfill that one task. Its usefulness is in its ability to successfully fulfill that task. The same goes for people. We are deemed useful if we are able to leverage our skills and traits for the benefit of those around us. Useful people are deemed as assets, helpful and resourceful.

Being used on the other hand involves a set of much different adjectives. The connotation is negative, and suggests ones value is based off of another persons ability to take advantage of them and discard them when they have received all the benefits they were seeking. The real trash that needs to be thrown out is the user. That individual is absolute filth. I have yet to meet a user, in any sense of the word, that doesn’t gross me out. They seek pleasure by draining all they can from others, and rarely ever, if at all, offer anything in return. Or even try. They are leeches in human form. Remember what I said earlier about niggas and bitches? Stay woke folks. Don’t allow yourself to be used by someones lowlife son or daughter. Your value doesn’t decrease based on someones inability to see your worth. Your real value comes from your ability to show compassion and understanding, how you can uplift those around you, and most importantly, how you can lift yourself up. Make it your duty to help others where you can, but never forget you must always help yourself first in order to be considered useful.

Finish Him